It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
