mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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