Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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