I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
