We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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