It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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