sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
