hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
