i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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