It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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