i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
