guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize