she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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