I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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