did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
