We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
