he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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