The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is it penis luge time yet?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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