Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
