The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
