I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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