i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
