that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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