theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You know, be my cock's hype man.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
