I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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