Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
