I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
