I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
