I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
