everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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