Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
