Non-Jews are for practice
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
How external is "for external use only"?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
