HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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