My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
