Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
