also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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