what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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