we have officially lost it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You were trust falling into bushes
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
