Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
