My room smells like vodka and shame
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
