remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
