Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
