Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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