wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
