He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what day is it and did you see me today?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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