My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
