D3 body, D1 cock
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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