Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
