I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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