turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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