I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
