So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
