I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i drank out of a bidet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
