sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
