i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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