I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
