is your mom at the bar?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
