i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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