You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize