very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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