How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
