I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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