If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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