watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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